Self-Care: Why it is important

Time Out for Me

I recently had a mini-mental breakdown; I felt I was being buried alive… knowing the end was near and I could not breath and I could not yell out for help.  The walls were closing in and I felt hopeless. Defeated. Unhealthy, yet real thoughts started to make their way through my mind and as my heart rate increased, I knew the thoughts were all too real.  Over the years I have learned to recognize the signs. It was not good. I wondered if my husband and children would miss me. Would they realize I was no longer here? Realizing what was happening, I made a decision and took a break from social media and as I would be having an upcoming weekend all to myself, I was going to spend a lot of the time reading, meditating, praying and getting to the root of the problem.  Let me say this: Social media was not the problem.  I knew exactly what the problem was… The enemy was not liking the changes I was making in my life and when you’re a child of God and you commit to making changes in your life, the enemy ain’t happy. He was actually quite pissed.

In September, Dude and I decided to get our finances in order. While we make more money now than we did prior to our move, and our overall bills are the same - I felt as though we were drowning. We signed up to take the Dave Ramsey – Financial Peace University course through church and we started the path to financial freedom.  Learning about having an emergency fund, using the envelope system, getting our credit cards in order and starting the debt-snowball plan, things were looking good. We could start seeing a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel.  Then BAM – we fell victims to a scam and our account went from $750 (positive) to negative $2600!!! My heart sank. The bank, cold and blameless – emotionless and couldn’t care less. Needless to say, I no longer bank at Chase! As crazy as it may sound, one of the things I fear most in life is being ‘broke’. Growing up, I was never taught the importance of saving, 401k, emergency funds, living within your means, no credit cards, interest rates, etc… When I saw the account was negative $2600, I went to a dark place… Dude, because we talk about everything, including our past, our childhood, etc… knew this was going to be bad. Thank God Dude is who he is… we both can’t be a basket case. One of us needs to be level headed and remain sane. In this situation, it was him. Within 24 hours we were blessed and all we could do was continuously praise and thank God. The enemy did not win.

On October 1^st, one of the most inspiring, motivating and courageous woman I know, follow and admire, Melissa Nixon, started a 21-day prayer for Entrepreneurs. I joined, and I’ve been listening and participating in the prayers and I started noticing a shift inside of me. I was learning about key individuals in the bible and hearing about how God used them and about all the great things they were able to accomplish through their diligence and commitment to God. Their faith did not waver, and the blessings bestowed upon them, blessed nations upon nations. I started seeing hope and I could see my future self: blessed, encouraged, strong, speaking to women – changing lives. I could see us being able to give like no other and enjoying life; no struggle. I could see us planted and being part of a church family, something I’ve always wanted.  And then, here comes the enemy… I started doubting and comparing myself to others. I started reading the testimonies of those in the 21-day prayer group and started wondering – well where’s my testimony?  I recognized what was happening and prayed. I asked God for forgiveness and that is when I decided to take a social media break. I would go in daily, however, to be part of the prayer group. I was not giving up and once again – the enemy did not win.

You’d think he would give up, right?  Without going into details, as sharing the details are not going to change what has already happened or change the outcome, I will say the enemy tried to come after my child – the youngest one.  I’m surrounded by prayer warriors and when what happened, happened – she was immediately prayed over, and the shield of protection was around her. Some will ask – well why wasn’t she covered before??? And let me stop you right there. Believe it or not, she was covered. My children are always covered and so are we. God gave us the ability to choose and sometimes, for numerous reasons, we chose incorrectly, and we must face the consequences. It does not mean God has abandoned us – far from it. He shows up and He shows out. And again… the enemy did not win.

While nothing was taken from us, other than money when the banking situation occurred, God has been in the midst of everything and I am reminded of Job.  Job had everything… great big family, lots of kids, good health, lots of animals, friends, big house, property – he was living life, and all was great. All of the sudden, here comes the enemy and Job lost everything. He lost everything except for his faith and love towards God.  In the end, everything Job lost was returned and even greater than he had had before!

The enemy tried to mess with us by hitting me in an area where he knows I’m vulnerable in… finances.

The enemy tried to mess with me by hitting me in an area where I often doubt myself…my passion for helping women rediscover themselves and live a free and happy life.

The enemy tried to mess with us by hitting me in an area, every parent fears…their children.

Vulnerability: Scripture I am praying and living by – 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Doubt: Scriptures I am praying and living by – Proverbs 3:5-8 and Jeremiah 29:11

Fears: Scriptures I am praying and living by – 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 34:4, Philippians 4:6, Proverbs 22:6 and Proverbs 29:15

Over the past several weeks a lot more has happened, but I’ll let these three events be my testimony. The enemy has not won, and he will not over take me or my family or my finances. All I have belongs to God. I know God is doing a great thing in me and I cannot wait to share the fruits! Because as 1 John 4:4 says: “... greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world”.

While my weekend retreat had some bumps and bruises, I stayed prayerful, I fasted by giving up something, I listened to some awesome sermons recommended by a dear and close friend... Y'all, go to YouTube and look up Under Doesn't Mean Over// Planted Not Buried by Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church. It's a three-part series and I listened to all three parts, took notes (and I never do that)... OH MY!!! Powerful. I started my vision board for 2019. I talked to God. I had brunch with a new friend and I know we'll be friends for like ever! And she's a prayer warrior also... I also cried a lot. I watched some shows and I started reading a new book. My weekend ended by getting a massage in my living room- Jessica is amazing! 

Anyways, self-care looks different for everyone. However it may look for you, just make sure to slow down and make time for you. As women, we are always overextending ourselves and rarely say no.  We also tend to hold a lot in: our fears, doubts, frustrations, etc.  Make sure you are surrounding yourself with strong, intelligent women... surround yourself with those that will keep you in prayer (if you're a believer).  Surround yourself with those that will uplift, encourage and motivate you. 

We have to do a better job. We owe it to ourselves and we owe it to those around us... So grab your planner and pick a weekend or a 24-hour period... and Take. Care. Of. YOU!

Stay Free & Happy,

xoxo-Maryann

All alone... well, it feels like it!

I see why I have not made it as a full-time blogger! My last post was over two years ago. EEEK!  So much has happened and I guess the place to begin is where I left off.

First and foremost, guess what y'all - I'm a published author!!! YES I AM. Here's the back story and a quick synopsis. 

Summer of 2016, we went on our very first cruise. My hubby and I, along with my two daughters got in the car and drove...yes drove 24 hours from Rochester, NY to Miami, FL! Thinking back, that trip was an eye opener and if I would stick to something, it could have opened many doors. While I don't call exactly when it happened, I remember my coach, Cheryl Holland, posted on Facebook about looking for women who wanted to collaborate and write a chapter in her upcoming book on overcoming unhealthy and toxic romantic relationships. As I had several relationships to pick from, I reached out to Cheryl and we had our phone interview as I drove to Miami, FL.  A short few months later - I became a published author... not just a published author but an Amazon #1 Bestselling Author! The book is called W.O.M.B. Sister Chronicles - Volume 1. W.O.M.B. stands for Women Overcoming Men Blues. We are 15 brave, courageous and vulnerable women who share intimate details on how we dealt with an unhealthy/toxic relationship and how we found the courage and strength to leave the relationship.  I encourage you to buy a copy! Here's the link - be sure you choose VOLUME 1 to read my story: www.wombsisters.com/products/?wpam_id=4 Again, be sure you choose Volume 1 (book 1).

So the book is done and we have a book launch November 2016... and that was that... sort of...  

Earlier in 2016, I created and started a life coaching business: MRD Empowerment Solutions. My vision was to inspire and empower women who were stuck, to live a free and happy life by discovering their own and unique voice. It's funny how everyone comes to you for advice and to talk - yet, when you need them the most - they are not there. As with anything we tend to venture towards, we look for support from our friends and family. Needless, to say, I became one of those stuck women I was so eager to help! I slowly backed off and shut everything down. Like a snail, I went back into my shell - my safe place.  

As I write this now [June 28, 2018], I realize that my number one reason for leaving Rochester, wasn't necessarily because of my daughter (middle one)... it was because I needed an escape. I was not happy. Nothing was working in Rochester and I felt "blah". I was working a job that I did not like.  My girls only get togethers, while many looked forward to it and often well attended, it wasn't what I truly envisioned. My children... one was grown with a child of his own and on his own and my middle one - she was also almost gone and my youngest, while 14, she was focused on her wants/needs... friends, school, social media, social life, shopping... you know, typical teenage stuff.  One of my three best friends was leaving the country and my other two BFF's were busier than ever - although we always made time for one another. I know Dude tried to do the best he could: That's the thing though, we have to figure things out for ourselves. Yes, having the support is important, but ultimately, we must do the work.

So here it was sometime in January, and my daughters and I were having a conversation about leaving Rochester and move to Florida as my middle child would be stationed in Pensacola, FL and her wife (then fiance) wanted to be closer to her... we made the decision to leave Rochester. After getting Dude on-board, I spoke to one of my long-time friends in FL about it and she suggested I stay with her until I found a job and could then find my own place. So that's what we did. I updated my resume, posted it on various online job boards, gave notice at my job, started packing and February 16, 2017, Dude and I made the journey to Sanford, FL - arriving February 17, 2017. He flew back to Rochester two days later.  We made the transition slowly: first me, then DIL, then kid, then Dude - who finally joined us November 2017.

If I could turn back time - I would. I would of stayed in Rochester, NY. As much as I dislike the snow, slush, cold, ice storms, blizzards, dreariness... nothing beats feeling like I'm lost.  And that's how I feel presently. I feel lost.  I'm in a state where I know several people - who live in different parts of the state, from a few hours to a few minutes.  And while I have met some nice folks, and I can see myself remaining friends with them for years to come... it is not the same.  The rut that I was escaping from in Rochester, followed me here.  I don't foresee myself ever moving back to Rochester. However, I remain open to whatever God sees fit for myself.  Especially since I never envisioned myself living in Florida!  Dude and I talked about leaving Rochester eventually, and FL was NEVER in the plan - ever!  We talked about the Carolina's, Virginia, Arizona, Maryland and maybe even Texas - but never FL. It just never appealed to me/us. YET - here we are.

So what happens next? Good question... 

I recently told Dude that I hate the fact that he truly loves his job! Why do I hate the fact that HE loves his job??? Because he left a job of 23 years in Rochester to follow my foolish desires and I cannot do that to him... I cannot rip him away [again] from something he enjoys because I cannot STICK TO SOMETHING!!!

URGH.

For now, I'll have to live with the decision I made. There is more to come - I know God has some awesome plans for me and I'm ready. There's a reason why the last line in the above paragraph is bolded, underlined and italicized. More on that in the next post.  Don't worry - it won't be two years from now.

Hugs and kisses,
MD

I am enough.

I. AM. ENOUGH.

It's a been a few months since my last post and there have been some changes. In this thing called life, change can be a scary thing; it pushes us out of our comfort zones. Change challenges us to be brave, to be authentic, to be bold; change is scary.  While change is scary, doing something that you don't want to do and living an unauthentic life is not only scarier, it's dangerous.  Dangerous because you are robbing yourself of living life according to your truths, strengths, and talents. Dangerous because you are living life wearing a mask.  Dangerous because the relationships you've formed, are not based on realism, but fantasy.  Dangerous because you are not living in your passion and creativity - but someone else's. 

Here's a brief summary of who I am.  At around age 15 I was placed in juvi - labeled a juvenile delinquent.  In and out of juvi homes, at the age of 16 I dropped out of school in the 9th grade.  I remember every detail of what occurred that morning.  A year and a half later I received my GED - while in juvi - as I vowed not to step foot into a city school again!  In terms of academics, here's how it went:

1989 - dropped out of high school

1991 - received GED

1993 - Certificate in General Office Skills obtained

2004 - Associate degree from MCC obtained

2014 - Bachelor's degree from RWC obtained

If I told you that I did not think that was good enough - would you believe me? If I told you that I still feel like a failure - would you believe me?

I started the journey towards the Master's program at RWC a few months after graduating with the Bachelor's.  I dropped after the first class.  A year later I re-enrolled and though I seemed happy about the decision and the new adventure, secretly, I was miserable.  Unlike the OM [Bachelor's major] program in which I looked forward to the assignments and seeing my group, the MSL [Master's major] program was different.  I was not excited about it. Externally, yes - I was. However, internally, from the beginning, I questioned if I was doing the right thing. Was I sure? Would this be enough? Would I be enough? Have I done enough? Will this prove that I am somebody? In spite of my past failures, would this validate me?

A while back I had a life coaching business.  One of the main points I encouraged and challenged individuals on, especially women, was to live an authentic and genuine life.  A life based on one's truths, strengths, and talents.  A life based on one's own voice - and not the voices, opinions, or views of others on how one should live one's life.  I wasn't living on the standards that I was teaching!  The conversations started with my close circle of friends and the prayers were on full force.  I knew deep down what I wanted - what I needed to do, but I was afraid.  I was afraid of letting people down. I was afraid of being seen as a failure.  I was afraid of being labeled a quitter.  I was afraid of people's views and opinions of me.  I was afraid of not being taken seriously.  I was afraid that I would not be enough.  I was afraid of letting down my husband, children, and my friends: the people that matter most to me.

And then...

While in conversations with my circle, the voices in my head were beginning to quiet down.  The truth was, that yes I would be letting them down; and I would also be letting myself down - if I continued living a lie.  If I continued living according to the views of others and not living in my passion and creativity - yes I would be letting people down. I would be letting down the people that matter most to me!

I stopped out of the Master's program - for the second and final time.  Have you ever wrestled with a decision and you were not sure if you would be making the right choice until after you made it? You know that feeling of lightness, peace, and stillness that overcomes you? I FELT IT INSTANTLY!  I knew I was not making a mistake.  I knew I was making the right decision - for ME!  

One of my friends said it best..."You only get one life".  

I've always had a passion and hunger for creativity!  I've talked about writing a book for quite some time and four chapters in, I will be refocusing my energies towards realizing this goal.  I will continue to write my book and see where life takes me.  Photography is another love of mine and I will dive into that adventure.  

I'm a life learner; whether in the classroom or whether in life - I never stop learning.  For today and for this moment I will live life to the fullest....with no regrets.

One click at a time - one keystroke at a time...

**I kindly ask that you share this piece.  Someone out there needs to hear - that she too, is enough** 

Stay fabulous and live life according to YOU!

-ME

Happy in 2016

Happy New Year!

2016 is here – no turning back. I can confidently say that I am glad and thankful to see 2015 in my rear view mirror.  Don’t get me wrong, 2015 was a nice year and many memories were created and several items were crossed off my bucket list. 

I obtained employment after being unemployed for 6 months, I visited 2 countries: Mexico and Dominican Republic, I started the journey towards my master’s degree; I surprised my husband for his 50^th birthday with a week of pampering, which ended with a surprise gathering with close friends.  Another exciting event of 2015 was that my middle child returned home after being away with her dad for 4 years!  My son made me a grandmother! And I also got to spend a lot of time with my close girlfriends.  Oh, I almost forgot one amazing 2015 event – I. Started. Swim. Lessons.  YES!!!  Over the past year my love of reading was unveiled and I read some amazing books.  I’ll list them below and I encourage you to take a look and see which, if any, may resonate with you.  A not so happy event in 2015 was that I decided to close down my MRD Empowerment Solutions coaching business.  Although it was a difficult decision to make, it was one that had to be done.  The time was not right. I am hopeful and confident that, God willing, MRD Empowerment Solutions will be back – and it will be more fabulous than I could ever have desired.  My husband, knowing how much I love photography, blessed me with a new DSLR Nikon camera and though I haven’t been out to take any photos, I am excited to get back to my creative side.

So moving on to 2016…

This year will be my year of abundance.  I am claiming that all areas of my life will be overflowing.  I will donate and travel more.  I will also save more.  I will have more time available to volunteer and create memories with my friends.  I will have more time to listen to my children’s laughter.  I will spend more quality time with my husband.  By the end of 2016 I will only have 2 classes left to finish my master’s.  Perhaps I’ll start looking into a PhD program! Kidding!  I do, however, plan to freely swim in the deep end.  Conversely, I plan on releasing at least 60 pounds.  I say release instead of lose because I don’t want to ever find them again! So I will release and let go.  2016 is a year of fulfillment.  Fulfilled goals – dreams realized.  It is a year of growth; a closer walk with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.  Growth in my marriage and a stronger relationship with my children.  2016 is a year of clarity.  No longer living under others expectations, but living according to my strengths, values, and deep desires.  2016 is the year for Happiness!  That is my mantra and my word for 2016. 

Happiness in all areas of my life!!!

What are you looking for in 2016? Share your comments below.

As always – stay Fabulous….

Happy in 2016 - Maryann

HERE's my list of awesome reads from 2015:

#girlboss by Sophia Amoruso

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert*

The Life List: A Novel by Lori Nelson Spielman*

The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert*

The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer*

This Beautiful Life by Helen Schulman

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff*

The Next Thing on My List by Jill Smolinski

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too by Cheryl Holland

10 Things for Teen Girls by Kate Conner

The Lifeboat by Charlotte Rogan*

* My favorites and I'm certain I'll reread in the near future!

Happenings of 2015

Hi Fabulous Loves,

As I write this update, we have two days until Christmas and in eight days we will be celebrating and ringing in a new year.  A lot has happened in 2015 and I'm grateful for every adventure.  Even though I'm grateful for the many wonderful things that took place in 2015, I'm ready for a fresh and new start.  This upcoming year will be a year filled with lots of love, blessings, spontaneous moments, wealth, great health, a closer relationship with God, passion, and fulfilled goals.  I'm so excited that my list of 400 things to do in my life continues to both shrink and grow.  It's growing because currently the list is at 123 items and I continue to add to it.  It's shrinking because I've crossed off about 6-10 things on the list. It's exciting every time I reach for my yellow highlighter and highlight something I've accomplished.

As I reflect, I think back to January when I was feeling a little disillusioned.  Unemployed and growing frustrated, I was looking forward to my DR trip in February.  The thought of having the sun bathe my skin from head to toe, while sitting at the pool drinking fruity drinks, as I got lost in my book reading, excited and energized me.  I would spend a few days away from reality.  I love my girl's only trips.  February came around and off we went.  It was such a beautiful time.  I enjoyed my getaway.  It was refreshing and I came back to a job!  The week before going on my trip I interviewed with a company and although I wasn't crazy about it, it was a job - and the bills were steadily coming in.  Bills stop for no one!  On the day that we were leaving, I received an email offering me the job, which I quickly accepted.  While the ladies that I was with talked about enjoying the their day off when they arrived home, I was thinking about what to wear to on my first day of work!   That was 10 months ago!  It's been interesting, but I'm here.

Here I am in Punta Cana, DR.

The next few months were spent getting the house organized, as it had been a several months since we'd moved in.  My middle daughter had also made the decision that she wanted to finish her senior year up here; so we were - or perhaps I was - mentally preparing for the transition.  June rolled around and the end of the school year was here. I drove with my little one to pick up the middle child. The transition hasn't been too difficult; although a bit challenging but that was to be expected.

In August, hubby and I celebrated 7 years of marital bliss.  Time has certainly flown by. SEVEN YEARS!!!  But I've been truly blessed and I couldn't imagine life without Mr. D. Just the other day I was partaking in a conversation where one person made a comment along the lines of "when we argue, we throw things, we're yelling at each other, we're telling each other to get out..." and I just stood there like wow. The individual says - "why do you look surprised?" I responded, and I think she believes I was lying...."In the seven years that Mr. D and I have been together, we have never raised our voices nor our hands; and we have definitely never uttered the words get out or cursed at each other".  I don't see a point in doing so.  When you treat someone that way, you are not only disrespecting that person, you're disrespecting yourself.  If you get to a point that you can't stand someone, leave.  YES - it is that simple. I don't care how many years you have invested or what material things you've accumulated.  No one deserves to be disrespected and mistreated and material things can be bought again.  Believe me - I've left and started over twice.  I don't plan on ever having to do that again, but if I had to - I wouldn't second guess myself.  The first time I was married. I packed what I could and left in my car.  It wasn't a healthy environment and it was time I left.  Sadly, I didn't take the time to fix ME and ended up in a similar situation later on and after two and a half years, I left that relationship also. My only regret was not leaving sooner.

Anyways - my relationships will be further discussed in my book - coming in 2016! I'm putting it out there - I've been working on this book for quite some time and I am committed to finishing it in 2016! Stay tuned :-) 

This year, for our family vacation we spent a week in Mexico.  It was so much fun!!!  We went in August and let me tell you - IT. WAS. HOT.  I love the heat, as you all know, but oh my that was brutal.

Here we are in Cancun, Mexico...

It was the girl's first time in Mexico and Mr. D's first time in Cancun. We all enjoyed it and will definitely be going back in the near future: Just not in August!!!

After I graduated and received my bachelor's degree last year, I enrolled in the master's program. Unfortunately, I lost my job shortly after and I just wasn't in a good place mentally or emotionally to focus on graduate school work - so I withdrew.  I knew that I would eventually return, but I wasn't sure 'when'.  During our time in Mexico, we spent some time thinking of our future in terms of goals and things that we want to accomplish; both short and long term plans.  I mentioned wanting to return to school and get the master's degree.  After much prayer and talking it out with my inner circle, I contacted RWC and informed them that I wanted to return. I was ready.

My official acceptance!  Lord willing, I will walk the stage at RWC once again in May of 2017!  I'm three modules in....nine more to go and I can't wait. I'm excited.

The busiest time in our lives happens during the final months of the year.  This year, my darling, turned 50!  I am so happy that he is just like me in terms of age - it is just a number. So whether we are 40, 50, or 60 - we don't lie nor are we ashamed about our age! As Mr. D says - he is like wine - he gets better with age. And oh yes he does!!!

One thing about him however, is that he does not like to make a big fuss about things. I on the other hand, I make a big deal about everything!!!  So off course I was planning a surprise gathering for him and he - as I suspected, loved every minute of it. Here's a few pics....

I kept it very small and very intimate. We were surrounded by close friends that mean everything to us; and it was perfect.  I booked a suite at the Woodcliff Lodge & Spa and gave the room key to one of my girl's, who went in early and set-up and let every one in... we arrived at the set time and surprised him.  Everyone was gone by 10pm and we enjoyed some much needed R&R.  I love that man to the moon and back :-)

As December rolled around, it was time for more celebrations.  My first born turned 23 on December 19th; my middle one will be 18 on the 27th and my baby turns 14 on January 6th!!!

We are looking forward to all the wonderfulness that 2016 has in-store for us.  Vacations, college, promotions, better health - goals accomplished!  Oh I almost forgot to mention - a huge item being checked off my bucket list is me learning to swim!!!  I tried lessons in the past and I stopped after session 2. The young lady was just an awful instructor. I'm sorry - but she was!!!  The interesting thing about life is, if you truly and really want and desire something, the fire will keep burning inside of you and it will not die down UNTIL you go for what you want.  So I followed the recommendation of one of my girl's and called the Y. We chatted and I signed up! Move over Michael Phelps - cause here I come. Okay, not really - but hey I'll be backstroking and butterflying in no time.

Here I am - getting ready to head to the Y. Two lessons down - nine to go.

A few notable moments of 2015:
1. Paid of some debt
2. My Munchkinmellow made honor roll
3. My Monster got a 101 on one of her exams
4. Had a surprise party for one of my BFF's
5. Enjoyed the company of numerous married couples during a "couples only game night" at a friends house - that was so much fun!
6. Celebrated the huge accomplishment of my other BFF as she received her Master's
7. And my darling Mr. D, blessed me with a new camera.... some may remember that I did photography a few years back. The frustration was getting to me and I sold everything (behind Mr. D's back)! Thankfully he didn't blow a gasket and he simply asked why. I told him and he reassured me that when I was ready, he'd bless me with a camera.  So be on the look out as I'll be back. :-)

As we say goodbye to 2015, it has been a great year. We've accomplished a lot.  We know that 2016 will be so much better and our blessings will be quadrupled!

We hope to share with you - and not just via social media - but in real life. That's where its at!

2015 Reflections

As we set to wrap up yet another year, I want to pause and give thanks.

I want to thank my friends, my close, tight, and intimate group that keep me grounded.  Life without you would be uneventful - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  We make each other laugh, we keep each other accountable, we keep each other motivated, and we keep each other uplifted.  We've shared tears, laughs, hugs, intimate stories, goals, frustrations, heartaches, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear - we've shared a version of ourselves that not many are privileged too - and for that I am thankful.  

I wish you lots of love - self love and love from your dear ones.  I wish you financial wealth; whether it's $1,000 or $1 million - whatever will bring you comfort, security, and joy - may you receive it.  I wish you mental stability.  I wish you confidence - a self confidence that is not conceited; but one of grace and authenticity.  I wish you honor and respect - but remember that it starts with YOU.  Show people how to treat you and do not settle for less - EVER!. I wish you professional growth - in your current field or wherever God may lead you.  Let the past stay in the past. We're approaching a new year - a new beginning; let go.  May this new year be filled with positive experiences beyond your wildest dreams.  I'm honored to have you in my life. This up coming year, is truly going to be our best one yet!

To my family - we didn't choose each other; God had an awesome plan when He chose us to be forever connected.  We have wasted enough time with jealousy, comparing ourselves to one another, with gossip, with put downs, with letting our ego and pride get in the way.  We need to do better. We need to BE better!  God put us together for a reason.  Let's stop making excuses and let's stop letting others get in our way of being a family.  None of us are better than the other; regardless of who has a job, who drives what type of car, who is married, who is engaged, who lives where - we can do better than that!  This up coming each let's make a promise to be more in each other's lives; and not only when you need something - but all the time.  Let's connect. Let's be present.  We didn't choose each other, but God did and He did it for a reason.  Let's make sure that our kids know each other and grow up with one another.  Let's do better for our next generation.   I give thanks because although we truly haven't been there for each other, we have an opportunity to begin again.  We are all breathing - we still have a chance.  I give God thanks for my brothers, my sister, my nieces and nephews.  I give thanks to God for my cousins, aunt, and uncles. I give thanks for my grandmother. Most importantly, I give thanks to God for my Mom, Dad and my step-parents.  We have a huge family - and we have lots of places to visit. So let's connect!

My darling husband and kids - We've had a fun year. We've settled in our home. We went to Mexico, went to a few parks, celebrated a milestone birthday, celebrated other birthdays, and soon my Munchkinmellow will go off to college.  We have a lot planned for 2016 and I cannot wait.  As I work on my Master's degree, I thank you for your support, James. Without you, this journey would be a hellish one! Thank you for always supporting me. I can't wait to see what surprises 2016 will bring. My Monster will turn 14 and in a few short years, she too will be off to college. Ah - then the real fun begins ;-)  My Parker - has his own place and is making positive changes in his life.  For you, my son, my prayer is that you learn to be patient and stay focused in the current; make a plan and break it down to bite size pieces - tackling one thing at a time.  I pray for confidence and for you never to quit!  You have a drive and hunger for success - keep it up. Don't ever - ever give up! Believe in yourself, like I believe in you.  2016 - we're ready for you!

And I'll close with this: Maryann, I thank you for being you.  Always pushing the limits and never doubting your abilities.  Continue pushing forward and never let go of your sense of wonder. The world is yours to conquer!

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My prayer is that as you read this, you are healthy and truly blessed!

During the recent social craze of "I'm so (wherever you grew up at)", a friend of mine quoted a saying that got me thinking. The quote 'it's not where you're from but where you're at' spoke volumes to me. Not in relation to the social craze - but life in general.
 
To some people I'm stuck-up, snooty, rude, hell I've even been called an Uncle Sam. The last one actually still causes me to chuckle! I've been admired for my strength, courage, resilience, and toughness. I consider myself a realist! Life can sometimes make you feel as though an 18-wheeler has permanently taken residence on your heart. You're broken: mentally, financially, emotionally, socially...and even spiritually. If you're human - life is tough. Everyone goes through things: divorce, abuse, bankruptcy, friendships ends {this one is the hardest for me to handle - keeping it real with you}. Everyone has lost a job; by choice or not. Life is an interesting journey.
  Growing up, you hoped to graduate school, go to college, land that fabulous gig, get married, have 2 or 3 perfect children, and live happily ever after. Sitting down each and every evening - as one unit -nourishing your bodies with the freshly cooked meal that mom has made: sharing each others day. While collectively helping to clear of the table, and help the little ones with homework. Showers, prayers, and of to sleep. The day will be repeated tomorrow.
 
Reality is, for {most} it's not like that. We're running here, there, everywhere. We hate our jobs, our kids are driving us up the wall, and spouses make us second guess saying those I do's...and some are doing it alone. Your once BFF has forgotten how to use a phone or computer, the bills are piling up, and you're slowly noticing the crow’s feet, grey hair, and the snugness of your pants. Life is tough. It's real!
 
What's a person to do? Here's what I'm slowly learning. For one, ALL relationships take effort and work. If you find yourself being the one to always be chasing down the other person, hell let it go. As I said earlier, I'm learning. If you're struggling financially - chances are your priorities are of balance. Cable is a WANT not a necessity. I don't care what your favorite show is - it's a want. If you have credit cards - remember that 99% of places accept VISA and MasterCard - you don't need store cards. The rewards are not worth your financial struggle and near bankruptcy status. Call them up and negotiate a lower interest rate, stop using them, and pay them of! Once done with one, take that payment and apply it to the next card (or bill). Everyone can save at least $5 dollars a paycheck! Yes you can. Stash it away and watch it slowly grow. That little nest egg will come in handy during an emergency or a little pampering. You have to take care of yourself. You have a long life ahead of you and you want to be your very best self, don't you?
 
I'll end with this - stop claiming calamity into your life! Words are powerful and the universe is listening. If you say you're living paycheck to paycheck - honey you're going to live forever paycheck to paycheck! If you think something bad is going to happen, chances are it will.
 
Our lives and circumstances are different. But it is possible to live a healthy, fun, exciting, and adventurous life-even on a budget and definitely even with just one income. One of the things that piss me off the most is when people hear that I'm planning a trip (or just came from a trip), or when we got 'newer' cars - or most recently when Hubby got me a new ring say things like - "MUST BE NICE - IF ONLY I HAD 2 INCOMES"...Well let's be real clear here. Yes we have 2 incomes but Hubs and I have only been together for 6 years! And guess what - before I knew the name James, I traveled just as much. And I was alone with THREE kids! And to be honest I actually traveled more. I'd pick the kids up from daycare on a Friday, fill up the minivan and of we'd go. Canada, New Hampshire, Erie...wherever. The one thing I'm able to do more often now is travel outside of the U.S.A. But again, those that know me, know I don't play. I plan and I plan wayyyyy in advance. So yes I'm blessed with a man that works and we have two incomes. Though I love my job, I work because I like things - especially travel! If life were to take a naughty turn and we went down to one income - I'd just have to travel less.
 

Sunset - suburb of Rochester NY

You are here temporarily! Live life to the fullest! If you have questions or want to chat email me: accordingtomdannert@hotmail.com
 
Stay beautiful and go get a passport!

Borrowed from the web - but oh so true!