2015 Reflections

As we set to wrap up yet another year, I want to pause and give thanks.

I want to thank my friends, my close, tight, and intimate group that keep me grounded.  Life without you would be uneventful - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  We make each other laugh, we keep each other accountable, we keep each other motivated, and we keep each other uplifted.  We've shared tears, laughs, hugs, intimate stories, goals, frustrations, heartaches, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear - we've shared a version of ourselves that not many are privileged too - and for that I am thankful.  

I wish you lots of love - self love and love from your dear ones.  I wish you financial wealth; whether it's $1,000 or $1 million - whatever will bring you comfort, security, and joy - may you receive it.  I wish you mental stability.  I wish you confidence - a self confidence that is not conceited; but one of grace and authenticity.  I wish you honor and respect - but remember that it starts with YOU.  Show people how to treat you and do not settle for less - EVER!. I wish you professional growth - in your current field or wherever God may lead you.  Let the past stay in the past. We're approaching a new year - a new beginning; let go.  May this new year be filled with positive experiences beyond your wildest dreams.  I'm honored to have you in my life. This up coming year, is truly going to be our best one yet!

To my family - we didn't choose each other; God had an awesome plan when He chose us to be forever connected.  We have wasted enough time with jealousy, comparing ourselves to one another, with gossip, with put downs, with letting our ego and pride get in the way.  We need to do better. We need to BE better!  God put us together for a reason.  Let's stop making excuses and let's stop letting others get in our way of being a family.  None of us are better than the other; regardless of who has a job, who drives what type of car, who is married, who is engaged, who lives where - we can do better than that!  This up coming each let's make a promise to be more in each other's lives; and not only when you need something - but all the time.  Let's connect. Let's be present.  We didn't choose each other, but God did and He did it for a reason.  Let's make sure that our kids know each other and grow up with one another.  Let's do better for our next generation.   I give thanks because although we truly haven't been there for each other, we have an opportunity to begin again.  We are all breathing - we still have a chance.  I give God thanks for my brothers, my sister, my nieces and nephews.  I give thanks to God for my cousins, aunt, and uncles. I give thanks for my grandmother. Most importantly, I give thanks to God for my Mom, Dad and my step-parents.  We have a huge family - and we have lots of places to visit. So let's connect!

My darling husband and kids - We've had a fun year. We've settled in our home. We went to Mexico, went to a few parks, celebrated a milestone birthday, celebrated other birthdays, and soon my Munchkinmellow will go off to college.  We have a lot planned for 2016 and I cannot wait.  As I work on my Master's degree, I thank you for your support, James. Without you, this journey would be a hellish one! Thank you for always supporting me. I can't wait to see what surprises 2016 will bring. My Monster will turn 14 and in a few short years, she too will be off to college. Ah - then the real fun begins ;-)  My Parker - has his own place and is making positive changes in his life.  For you, my son, my prayer is that you learn to be patient and stay focused in the current; make a plan and break it down to bite size pieces - tackling one thing at a time.  I pray for confidence and for you never to quit!  You have a drive and hunger for success - keep it up. Don't ever - ever give up! Believe in yourself, like I believe in you.  2016 - we're ready for you!

And I'll close with this: Maryann, I thank you for being you.  Always pushing the limits and never doubting your abilities.  Continue pushing forward and never let go of your sense of wonder. The world is yours to conquer!

Romney or Obama…who is the better choice?

Voting Day 11-6-2012

Romney or Obama…who is the better choice?

My mind had been made up for quite some time as to who would get my vote.

Although born in the US, we left South Bronx, NY and relocated to Puerto Rico at an early age. As far as I can remember, we lived there for quite some time and for some crazy reason, my mother and step-father decided to leave Puerto Rico and out of all the places in America, they decided to land in Rochester, NY.  I remember when we first moved here, it was winter. The winter coat I had, the pockets had wholes and we lived just within the radius of me not qualifying for school transportation. You do the math – we lived above Tito’s Corner Store (Rohr and Bay St) and I was assigned to attend school #33. YES – dead of winter with a coat that could hardly do its job and to top it all off, I had no boots!  I don’t recall how long that lasted, but I remember often being cold.  Yes, my mother received assistance. Growing up I remember standing in line waiting to get that ‘welfare cheese’. Don’t front – I know I’m not…that cheese yielded the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the world! And being true to our Puerto Rican roots – cafe con leche, galletas con queso (coffee w/milk and crackers & cheese) – those were the days!

Thankfully, that was not the life my parents envisioned when they left the comfort of Puerto Rico; where we owned our own house, land and many animals.  They moved to America to live the American dream. 

As I ventured on my own (due to a teenage pregnancy), I found myself  applying for DSS.  I had no choice, I was 18 and pregnant! And do yall know how much it cost to deliver a baby? Craziness. I digress!  I remember when I went for my appointment, the worker asking me all sorts of personal questions; where’s the father, who’s the father, where are your parents, this and that. Wait a minute – hold the train I said to myself. Is she serious? Asking me all these questions! And me being me, I asked HER why she needed to know all that? Her response changed my life…to an extent at least.  She said, if you want government help, we need to know this information. Seeing things growing up, I realized that to get assistance I had to lie; so I answered in a way that would allow me to get benefits.  Something inside however, felt strange. I desired more. I did not want to live my life waiting for the 1^st and 16^th of every month (that’s how it was back then). I wanted to work and have my own money and not have to worry about telling people my business. So I enrolled at the REOC and got a General Office Skills certificate. Shortly after delivering my healthy bouncing baby boy – I was hired by the organization where I did my internship and started on the road to joining the working class!  I did find myself several years later on a couple of occasions applying and receiving food stamps. But I was damned if I asked for anything else – because see as a working class member, I had a reputation to uphold. Benefits don't come easy to those that work for a living; but those that choose to live off the system, everything is handed to them. I had to find work as soon as I possibly could and I’m thankful that I always did.  Had I not chosen to have some dignity and desire for a better way of life, I could have sat on my couch collecting DSS and not use the time to further my education; receiving benefits and being enabled by the system to be a lazy member of society.

As someone who grew up poor, standing on the ‘cheese line’, having cars repo’d, the bank taking the house away…there’s a consistent reminder in all of this – we ALL have a choice to make. We can choose to play the cards we are given or we can give those cards back and ask for a re-deal.

I remember when I met my ex-husband, I was working, a single mother and because I was a single mother and I was not making ‘enough’, I qualified for food stamps and section 8. My rent used to be $12 a month (full rent was $340) in the south wedge area for a 2bdrm – not bad. I loved that apartment. Anyways, when we decided to get married, he said we’re moving. I told him I couldn’t because I would lose the section 8. He said “well get a job making more money so you don’t have to worry about government stuff”. And so I did. When I was pushed out of my comfort zone, I discovered there were opportunities; but I was not being challenged to change; so why would I?  From that point on, I looked at the government differently.

Today - we have one man who believes people should be more responsible for themselves and not rely on government assistance – and dag gone it I agree 100%.  Then we have another man who believes the government should help those that are less fortunate. And again, as someone who grew up on government assistance – I agree 100%.  Help those that REALLY and TRULY need it. The lazy folks, make them get a job but at the same time, since you, the government have enabled them to live such a lavish lazy life – don’t cut off all the assistance at once. Teach them how to be responsible. Teach them how to budget. Teach them how to pay bills. You got them here; take them further.

Then there’s the health care part. One man wants to make all businesses have to offer health insurance OR face a fine. The other man wants for people to make the choice for themselves whether or not they want insurance.  I disagree with both views!  Healthcare is expensive as a you know what!  Forcing businesses to have to offer health insurance can be detrimental to smaller organizations, non-profits, etc. It will literally force many to close down.  Then again, I don’t agree that it should be up to each person whether they want insurance or not. Some people are not responsible enough so many children will continue to go uninsured.  All I can say is that I’m thankful to have insurance available at my job.

Education: One man believes all children – equally should be allowed the opportunity to have their parents choose where the child goes to school; whether it’s city, suburbs, private, charter, online…while the other believes there should be some restrictions. On this one – although I see the former views…I agree with the latter. Many people pay high, very high taxes to be in a good district. Why should they have to fork up the money for non-district pupils?

This is a tough choice. I was convinced driving to the polls. I gave my vote a lot of thought. I even consulted with my 10 year old daughter…after all…she is part of our future America!  Together we decided…we filled in the bubbles…we put our form in the privacy sleeve…we put the sleeve in the machine…and casted our vote!

Life ~ it’s certainly interesting.

Today I voted!