Just Me - Maryann

It's been a while - I know.  A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this blog.  I've been submerged in a self-discovery journey, and it has been amazing!!!  I'm all about growth, empowerment, knowledge, and fun.

Since I could remember I've tried to be an entrepreneur because that is what EVERYONE was doing.  I felt like I was missing out.  Through my recent journey of figuring out WHO Maryann is - this is what I discovered.  Before you proceed - grab a cup of tea or coffee...or depending on the time, a glass of wine and enjoy the following.

**As always, I'd love to hear from you** 

I was laying in bed the other night and as I laid there thinking, something hit me. I've been feeling like this for quite some time; actually, years I think!  I've jumped around from one thing to next and this has happened on and off over the past twenty or so years!!!  Discovery Toys, Lea Sophia, Avon, Mary Kay, Photography, Steeped Tea, Coaching biz....and honestly, I have no emotional connection to ANY OF IT!!!  Avon was fun because I got discounts on some of their cool little stuff; but it was too much of a hassle and the discounts were not worth the headaches.  Mary Kay, I LOVE but again, the 'selling' it just not me. Photography, I loved and I miss it at times, but not as a business.  I just want to snap pictures.  I don't want to advertise, sell, edit, print, etc. I just want to pull my camera out and snap away.  The money was good - but I wasn't doing it for the money - so that incentive means nothing to me. The other stuff: Discovery Toys - that was so long ago, when I first had my son.  I got involved with that again, for the discount but I should of known THEN that 'selling' was not my thing.  As I enjoy tea, I tried Steeped Tea! However, I'm a coffee drinker - FOR LIFE.  I have so much tea at home that even if I don't order anything for a while, I'll be set.  Again, the hassle of 'selling', ordering, parties, packing, unpacking - it just wasn't worth it. So I stopped. NOW - to the big one...my recent venture...coaching and writing a book.

People always say that if we have a story to share, we should because we don't know who we could help; our story can impact someone and propel them into the right direction.  I disagree.  Not 'everyone' needs to hear about my life's journey.  I've come to realize this: Those that I choose to share my story with - will hear it.  I'm not one for glitz and glamour - as shocking as that might be.  I don't need to be up on a podium with the lights shinning on me. That's not me.  I rather be in my jeans and t-shirt - sipping a drink and having intimate conversations with my close girlfriends.  All of our lives have had ups and downs - hell I know I can be an impact right in my intimate circle; perhaps helping one of my close girlfriends open up and blossom...having them be in the spot light because that's what they may desire. Me - I'm in the background - where I like to be.  I'll be the one cheering you on or wiping your tears away; or giving you a pep talk when you need it...Whatever you need me to be - in the background, I will be.

I don't want to be a boss, CEO, or president of any company.  Believe it or not, not everyone wants to be in the spot light.  Conversely, there a many who are leaders behind the scenes.  That's where I am.  I don't want to be a final decision maker...yes, providing input is one thing but being the final decision maker....NOPE not me. I don't want the pressure or stress.  I don't want to be a speaker - I don't want the light shinning on me.  I don't want to 'publish' a book.  All the shit that has happened to me over the years, I continue to heal from, and yes - the writing process has been helping ME and those that I choose to share it with - but not with the public; not publicized for all to see.

I chose to get my bachelor's degree because I wanted to show my children that even though life happens, you still have choices in life; it's your life and although you may be dealt certain cards - you can throw that hand in and ask for a re-deal. I've chosen now to get my master's for me!  It's going to be mine...and all mine. I'm not going to have a party - like I did with my bachelor's.  I wanted to share that with a lot of people - and I did...sadly, some of those people that I did celebrate with, I don't even talk too anymore.  And I'm at peace with that.

For my master's I will celebrate with my man in Tahiti - although I graduate May 2017 and Tahiti will be April/May 2018...I will also celebrate with my intimate group of girlfriends [they know who they are]...we'll take a trip somewhere and bask in the sun as we love to do - sit on the beach and listen to the waves crash against the shoreline....

I don't mind giving advice.  I don't mind listening. I enjoy both of those activities...they are part of who I am.  However, I don't want to advertise. I don't want to charge.  I don't want to speak, I don't want to plan.  My mindset is right where it needs to be: friends, family, self...{before all is God of course!}

I just want to be Maryann...wearing jeans and a t-shirt and maybe a cute scarf....sipping an ice cold beer or drinking a fruity drink - maybe with an umbrella.

I want to get up and go to work. I enjoy what I do and Lord knows I have the easiest job at the moment!!! I'm learning some new things and that creates the challenge that I enjoy; and truthfully, I won't ever make six-figures here, but it's okay. I'm happy! That's what really matters.  I want to go to the gym after work, and eventually reach my goal weight 160-170 toned!!!  I know I can do it - just need to focus and commit.  I want to learn to swim.  I want to collect lots and lots of stamps in my passport!  I want to get together with my girlfriends and hang out at the movies, go to the spa, go on vacation, go shopping, talk and relax...go for walks....breathe fresh air.  I want to grow with my man: mentally, physically, emotionally, mentally, intimately, and spiritually - and do whatever we want - and not having to worry about other commitments, because my focus and commitments will be: self, friends, family, and God.  Outside of that - nothing matters.  I do want to get back to church...all churches will have issues and clicks, and dysfunction - my focus needs to be in my relationship with God.

It's not to say that all I want to do is live life without a care in the world; that's just plain insanity and unreal.

There are ways for me to pay it forward and be an inspiration to others outside of my intimate circle. It's called - living an authentic lifestyle.  It's also called being involved.  I'm involved with two great organizations: Dress for Success as a First Impressions Coach.  This opportunity allows me to instill not only job readiness skills to women, but also life skills in general.  There's also a chance for me to get involved in one of their committees so I would be involved and have an impact from the inside out.  Then there's STAAR Leaders of Rochester - which I'm on the board.  I know there's room for major life changing events and involvements with this group.  

I'm looking forward to all the new, fun, and exciting things that have already started to take shape.  My gifts will keep on giving :-) 

When you know who you genuinely are, you've discovered the secret to LIFE! 

Most fabulously, I'm looking forward to being just Maryann.

Let's Chat

My prayer is that as you read this, you are healthy and truly blessed!

During the recent social craze of "I'm so (wherever you grew up at)", a friend of mine quoted a saying that got me thinking. The quote 'it's not where you're from but where you're at' spoke volumes to me. Not in relation to the social craze - but life in general.
 
To some people I'm stuck-up, snooty, rude, hell I've even been called an Uncle Sam. The last one actually still causes me to chuckle! I've been admired for my strength, courage, resilience, and toughness. I consider myself a realist! Life can sometimes make you feel as though an 18-wheeler has permanently taken residence on your heart. You're broken: mentally, financially, emotionally, socially...and even spiritually. If you're human - life is tough. Everyone goes through things: divorce, abuse, bankruptcy, friendships ends {this one is the hardest for me to handle - keeping it real with you}. Everyone has lost a job; by choice or not. Life is an interesting journey.
  Growing up, you hoped to graduate school, go to college, land that fabulous gig, get married, have 2 or 3 perfect children, and live happily ever after. Sitting down each and every evening - as one unit -nourishing your bodies with the freshly cooked meal that mom has made: sharing each others day. While collectively helping to clear of the table, and help the little ones with homework. Showers, prayers, and of to sleep. The day will be repeated tomorrow.
 
Reality is, for {most} it's not like that. We're running here, there, everywhere. We hate our jobs, our kids are driving us up the wall, and spouses make us second guess saying those I do's...and some are doing it alone. Your once BFF has forgotten how to use a phone or computer, the bills are piling up, and you're slowly noticing the crow’s feet, grey hair, and the snugness of your pants. Life is tough. It's real!
 
What's a person to do? Here's what I'm slowly learning. For one, ALL relationships take effort and work. If you find yourself being the one to always be chasing down the other person, hell let it go. As I said earlier, I'm learning. If you're struggling financially - chances are your priorities are of balance. Cable is a WANT not a necessity. I don't care what your favorite show is - it's a want. If you have credit cards - remember that 99% of places accept VISA and MasterCard - you don't need store cards. The rewards are not worth your financial struggle and near bankruptcy status. Call them up and negotiate a lower interest rate, stop using them, and pay them of! Once done with one, take that payment and apply it to the next card (or bill). Everyone can save at least $5 dollars a paycheck! Yes you can. Stash it away and watch it slowly grow. That little nest egg will come in handy during an emergency or a little pampering. You have to take care of yourself. You have a long life ahead of you and you want to be your very best self, don't you?
 
I'll end with this - stop claiming calamity into your life! Words are powerful and the universe is listening. If you say you're living paycheck to paycheck - honey you're going to live forever paycheck to paycheck! If you think something bad is going to happen, chances are it will.
 
Our lives and circumstances are different. But it is possible to live a healthy, fun, exciting, and adventurous life-even on a budget and definitely even with just one income. One of the things that piss me off the most is when people hear that I'm planning a trip (or just came from a trip), or when we got 'newer' cars - or most recently when Hubby got me a new ring say things like - "MUST BE NICE - IF ONLY I HAD 2 INCOMES"...Well let's be real clear here. Yes we have 2 incomes but Hubs and I have only been together for 6 years! And guess what - before I knew the name James, I traveled just as much. And I was alone with THREE kids! And to be honest I actually traveled more. I'd pick the kids up from daycare on a Friday, fill up the minivan and of we'd go. Canada, New Hampshire, Erie...wherever. The one thing I'm able to do more often now is travel outside of the U.S.A. But again, those that know me, know I don't play. I plan and I plan wayyyyy in advance. So yes I'm blessed with a man that works and we have two incomes. Though I love my job, I work because I like things - especially travel! If life were to take a naughty turn and we went down to one income - I'd just have to travel less.
 

Sunset - suburb of Rochester NY

You are here temporarily! Live life to the fullest! If you have questions or want to chat email me: accordingtomdannert@hotmail.com
 
Stay beautiful and go get a passport!

Borrowed from the web - but oh so true!

 

Philippians 4:13 - Saturday, May 10, 2014

Hi Beautiful People,

It's been a while. I hope you're all doing wonderful and enjoying the glimpses of the sun. I'm hoping we have a fabulously hot summer full of clear blue skies!

Did you happen to catch the title of this blog post? Philippians 4:13 - Saturday, May 10, 2014. This day will be recorded as a special day in my memory book.  The verse - well if it were not for Christ continuously strengthening me, this reality would still be a dream.  I will be walking across the stage at Robert Wesleyan College and receiving my Bachelor of Science degree in Organizational Management. I'm elated!

Why such enthusiasm? See, 24 years ago, on Wednesday, November 15, 1989, I turned 16 and I made a decision that forever changed my life. I walked into my homeroom at Edison Tech High School and dumped all my books on Ms. Deyo's desk. She asked me, "what are you doing"? I told her, "I'm done". I turned and left. She didn't try to stop me. Would I have changed my mind? Only God knows. The interesting thing is that as I went to get on the RTS bus, the driver asked me what I was doing? I told him going home...I just dropped out of school. His response, although ticked me off, didn't change my mind. He told me, "oh you're grown now huh?, well walk your grown behind home"! Yeah, he did not let me get on the bus! So I walked.

I ended up back in juvi (that journey another time).  In and out of juvi for around two years, I ended up getting my GED May 1991.  Three years later I obtained a General Office Skills certificate from REOC.  That certificate helped get my foot into the professional arena. More like a toe! Desiring to be more and have more, I eventually enrolled at MCC.  At MCC I changed majors a few times (that adventure also at another time). Life happened and after starting in 1996, I graduated in 2004. Do the math - quick! Yes, it took me 8 years but I did it.

The road leads me to the present day.  I was comfortable in my profession as an executive/admin assistant, although I had 15+ years of experience, I felt professionally empty - if that makes sense.  I took some time to reevaluate my career goals and realized that I'd always wanted to achieve my bachelors.  I had tried several times and was not successful. The colleges/programs were not for me. 

And as life doesn't stop, I kept on living. The goal was boxed and safely put away.

Have you ever had a goal, vision, or desire that had not been realized and it keeps gnawing at you? It just won't go away! That was my goal and with the encouragement of Mr. D., I reached out to a few people I knew had graduated from Robert's. I asked them a million questions and I signed up for an info session. I enrolled. I was accepted. I finished. I graduate!

To those reading this...young or old, don't EVER give up. If you're breathing, you still can reach that goal and stop that annoying gnawing feeling.  If you've dropped out of high school - try and go back or go get the GED.  If you're contemplating dropping out - DON'T do it! You will regret it.  I wish I had prom pictures to look at and laugh at. I wish I had those memories....  If you've obtained your GED, awesome sauce! Don't stop there. Go further. Get a certificate. REOC and local colleges offer certificate programs.  Whether it's to fulfill a personal or professional goal, education is knowledge and that knowledge will be yours forever.

As for me and my future - I plan on receiving my Masters in Human Resources Management.  I'm looking at a couple of local colleges because I need to be in a classroom. Online does not work for me.

There should be six attendees at my graduation - my mama, dad, 2 daughters, son and hubs. My son is out of town handling some business - but I'll be sure to have lots of photo for him to see and he'll definitely be at my next graduation.

If you ever want to chat or have questions email me at accordingtomdannert@hotmail.com

It has been a while...

My faithful readers, accept my deepest apologies as it has been a while since I have written!  As we know and as can be expected, {LIFE} happens.  I am in the middle of planning many things for the upcoming year! Here's a quick overview:

Social life...

• My social life will be changing! Life's too short.

Professional life...

• I am very fortunate to have a job that I love. Although I love my job, I know that I am meant to be doing more...great things will be happening in this arena - stay tune! {NO} I am not leaving my job...I will be growing in my gifts.

Academic life...

• I will be graduating May 10, 2014 with my bachelor's in Organizational Management. I have made the decision to continue on {with the subtle persistence of Nicole & Deborah}, with my education and I will be starting my studies for my MSL - Master's in Strategic Leadership!

Personal life...

• I have talked and talked and talked and talked {you get the point}...about my weight loss battle. In all honesty, it is not really a battle because I'm not even trying to fight! January 1, 2014 - I will be bringing out the gloves and you better watch out! I will be fighting like my life depended on it {an it does!}.  I will be getting healthy! I will become a certified personal trainer! I will start the writing and I will become a published author! I will become involved in helping others! I will be making a difference!
• I will be focusing on my marriage and my children. Our vacations will be meaningful; we will live with purpose.
• I will also be writing more consistently! It's all about planning :-)

With all that being said, I hope you stick around and embark on the great journey that is about to take place. Join me for the adventure...hold on the best is yet to come!

{{PS.}} Did I tell you I recently turned 40! My classmates surprised me with a cake and the love of my life surprised me with a weekend getaway to Niagara on the Lake! IT WAS AMAZING!!!