Great at starting, suck at committing!

Great at starting, suck at committing!

I recently put myself out there and asked some individuals for feedback.  The feedback was on what they perceived to be a weakness of mine and provide a strength, also.  The idea came from the book The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod.  If you have not heard of Hal, his story, or the book - click the link to be directed to YouTube and hear one of his speeches!  **Do this after your finish reading this post** At first, I was a little apprehensive – I mean who really asks for feedback on a weakness?  Not many are willing to put themselves in such a vulnerable situation. Yet, I continued reading Hal’s words and what I learned was this: You’re asking feedback on how people PERCEIVE you. There may or may not be any validity to the words; it’s how the individual(s) perceive you, your behavior.  In other words, what are you putting out to the universe and how is the universe receiving it.  I started thinking on who to ask for feedback and as names started popping up in my mind, I started thinking of who would be totally honest and not sugar coat their opinions.  I went with the latter. 

I wrote the email and sent it out – BCC - obviously. The emails slowly started trickling in and as I started to read the words, I had to stop both reading and my mental judgement.  Like seriously “this is not me”, “where is this coming from”, “they don’t know me at all”.  I put the emails aside and sat in silence…thinking.  Hal’s words came back to life that these are their views on what I’m putting out to the universe.  So, I went back and kept reading and re-reading.  I noticed a pattern: Strength – determined, not afraid to step out and try new things… Weakness – does not fully commit to new ventures, puts one foot out but keeps the other inside not fully committing and giving it your all, easily gets bored. Hmmmm… as I read the variations of the same thing – I thought to myself; is this true?  Do I jump to new opportunities but don’t commit?  Do I easily get bored?  The answer, after much reflecting: YES. It's true.  100% - that's me for sure.

I went back to the very first venture I ever tried: Discovery Toys! This goes back to the early 90's.  I honestly don't remember the ins and outs other than it was toys that were to be engaging and foster learning for the young minds.  Then there’s AVON, Mary Kay, Steeped Tea, Herbalife, Origami Owl, Coaching Business and the Photography Business…Also, writing my book!

I was somewhat surprised at the amount of things that popped up that I had started and did not finish or gave up on.   And in regards to my boredom - I do get bored easily and when I get bored - I move on... be it a job or even more seriously: relationships.  I'll dive into the latter on another post.  Was there anything I had started that I had finished? And the only two examples that came to mind where: completing my Associate's and Bachelor's degrees.   

So off course, going back to the feedback from the emails and to the readings from the book, I started to think about WHY.  Why had I started so many things and why had I not followed through?  What was it about my degrees that was so important (apparently), that made me complete them?  I'll be honest - not an easy question to answer.

Here's what I've discovered: While I enjoy the finer things in life - traveling, the beach, staying home (versus working for the man - as they say), wine, shopping, safe and comfortable place to live... I am not motivated by money.  Four out of the nine things above, were NOT driven by money.  Let me explain in detail: 

Mary Kay - I've been using MK products for 20 years!!!  I'm not trying anything else and I'm not stopping.  I figured, why not become a consultant and get my items at a discount and earn some extra cash.  Well, that motivation was not enough because I'm the worse consultant ever!  I rarely advertise, I don't follow-up with people, I don't try to grow my team... I just don't.  However, I will call my Director and order through her (for myself) in a heartbeat.  If I want something, I'm going to get it - money isn't a problem.  So while, yes, I could be getting my products at 50% discount (yup, you read that right - 50%!!!), I much rather pay full price because it's easier for me and the benefits, don't motivate me.   You know what did motivate me when it came to MK? Was the relationship building and meeting new people.  Will I get back to it - I am still an active consultant, after all.  Maybe. But before I do... my "why" needs to be clear.

Now, the three things that do matter are: Coaching business, Photography business AND my book! I love talking and helping people. Particularly women.  I enjoy sitting down and discussing goals, dreams, and coming up with a plan to achieve those dreams.  I enjoy following up with individuals, and I definitely love and enjoy seeing the growth - from mental to physical to financial.  It's a true blessing being a part of the process.  I do miss that.  

Photography business:  I'll be honest... I miss taking pictures.  But I do not miss the demands or expectations of people.  Photography for me was never about the money! Never.  And that's when I lost my interest in it... when I combined my passion with money.   See, photography for me was an escape.  It helped release my stress levels - like for real!  I could easily make $3000 in one day (wedding) - but the stress - was not worth it to me.  And I also, because again photography for me was an escape NOT a business, I was not clear on my "why" and I found myself doing everything in photography: maternity, engagement, wedding, special events, families, landscape, newborns... URGH - it was too much.  So what did I do?  Unbeknownst to my husband, I sold my equipment and stopped taking pictures.  He noticed a few weeks later, when he asked why I wasn't out shooting.  I told him and thank God he wasn't upset.  He understood.  The following Christmas, to my surprise he bought me a new camera - which I still have.  I may get back into photography - but before I do - I'll need to be clear on my "why".

In regards to my book: While I am about 80% finished, there are some things that I'm still holding on to.  There are some things about me, my life - that only a few people know about... and honestly, I am allowing fear of judgement hold me back.  Believe me when I tell you, that I know my story will change lives. I know my story will inspire and motivate many.  And I also know, that people will judge what they don't understand... but that does not change how I feel and my feelings are valid.  I'm a work in progress and I continue to pray to God to guide and help me with this.

Now, the two things that I have managed to start AND finish: my degrees.  This was easy to figure out.  I was a high school drop-out and I wanted to prove something to my children.  I wanted to show them that although mistakes have been made, things can turn around - and you can do whatever you set your mind too... if it's important.  My why: To be the role model my children needed in their lives. They don't need to look at anyone else for inspiration or motivation - I'm their role model.  I also wanted to remind myself that I was not a failure.  I made the mistake of dropping out of school, but that decision would not define me.  Those reasons were enough for me to dig deep inside and succeed.  

So, what is my why?  What will motivate me to put both feet down on the other side?  What will motivate me to move forward and not look back?  What will move me from my current situation (stuck-ish) to maximum success?  What is it that I truly want out of life?

Stay tune...because this I can promise you.... I'm not starting anything that I'm not ready to finish!  I'm not picking up anything that I've started, that I'm not ready to finish. 

I'm all about living free and happy and it's MY TIME.

xoxo-

Maryann

**Share and send me a message/comment. I'd love to hear from you.

Happy in 2016

Happy New Year!

2016 is here – no turning back. I can confidently say that I am glad and thankful to see 2015 in my rear view mirror.  Don’t get me wrong, 2015 was a nice year and many memories were created and several items were crossed off my bucket list. 

I obtained employment after being unemployed for 6 months, I visited 2 countries: Mexico and Dominican Republic, I started the journey towards my master’s degree; I surprised my husband for his 50^th birthday with a week of pampering, which ended with a surprise gathering with close friends.  Another exciting event of 2015 was that my middle child returned home after being away with her dad for 4 years!  My son made me a grandmother! And I also got to spend a lot of time with my close girlfriends.  Oh, I almost forgot one amazing 2015 event – I. Started. Swim. Lessons.  YES!!!  Over the past year my love of reading was unveiled and I read some amazing books.  I’ll list them below and I encourage you to take a look and see which, if any, may resonate with you.  A not so happy event in 2015 was that I decided to close down my MRD Empowerment Solutions coaching business.  Although it was a difficult decision to make, it was one that had to be done.  The time was not right. I am hopeful and confident that, God willing, MRD Empowerment Solutions will be back – and it will be more fabulous than I could ever have desired.  My husband, knowing how much I love photography, blessed me with a new DSLR Nikon camera and though I haven’t been out to take any photos, I am excited to get back to my creative side.

So moving on to 2016…

This year will be my year of abundance.  I am claiming that all areas of my life will be overflowing.  I will donate and travel more.  I will also save more.  I will have more time available to volunteer and create memories with my friends.  I will have more time to listen to my children’s laughter.  I will spend more quality time with my husband.  By the end of 2016 I will only have 2 classes left to finish my master’s.  Perhaps I’ll start looking into a PhD program! Kidding!  I do, however, plan to freely swim in the deep end.  Conversely, I plan on releasing at least 60 pounds.  I say release instead of lose because I don’t want to ever find them again! So I will release and let go.  2016 is a year of fulfillment.  Fulfilled goals – dreams realized.  It is a year of growth; a closer walk with Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.  Growth in my marriage and a stronger relationship with my children.  2016 is a year of clarity.  No longer living under others expectations, but living according to my strengths, values, and deep desires.  2016 is the year for Happiness!  That is my mantra and my word for 2016. 

Happiness in all areas of my life!!!

What are you looking for in 2016? Share your comments below.

As always – stay Fabulous….

Happy in 2016 - Maryann

HERE's my list of awesome reads from 2015:

#girlboss by Sophia Amoruso

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert*

The Life List: A Novel by Lori Nelson Spielman*

The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert*

The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer*

This Beautiful Life by Helen Schulman

The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff*

The Next Thing on My List by Jill Smolinski

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too by Cheryl Holland

10 Things for Teen Girls by Kate Conner

The Lifeboat by Charlotte Rogan*

* My favorites and I'm certain I'll reread in the near future!

Happenings of 2015

Hi Fabulous Loves,

As I write this update, we have two days until Christmas and in eight days we will be celebrating and ringing in a new year.  A lot has happened in 2015 and I'm grateful for every adventure.  Even though I'm grateful for the many wonderful things that took place in 2015, I'm ready for a fresh and new start.  This upcoming year will be a year filled with lots of love, blessings, spontaneous moments, wealth, great health, a closer relationship with God, passion, and fulfilled goals.  I'm so excited that my list of 400 things to do in my life continues to both shrink and grow.  It's growing because currently the list is at 123 items and I continue to add to it.  It's shrinking because I've crossed off about 6-10 things on the list. It's exciting every time I reach for my yellow highlighter and highlight something I've accomplished.

As I reflect, I think back to January when I was feeling a little disillusioned.  Unemployed and growing frustrated, I was looking forward to my DR trip in February.  The thought of having the sun bathe my skin from head to toe, while sitting at the pool drinking fruity drinks, as I got lost in my book reading, excited and energized me.  I would spend a few days away from reality.  I love my girl's only trips.  February came around and off we went.  It was such a beautiful time.  I enjoyed my getaway.  It was refreshing and I came back to a job!  The week before going on my trip I interviewed with a company and although I wasn't crazy about it, it was a job - and the bills were steadily coming in.  Bills stop for no one!  On the day that we were leaving, I received an email offering me the job, which I quickly accepted.  While the ladies that I was with talked about enjoying the their day off when they arrived home, I was thinking about what to wear to on my first day of work!   That was 10 months ago!  It's been interesting, but I'm here.

Here I am in Punta Cana, DR.

The next few months were spent getting the house organized, as it had been a several months since we'd moved in.  My middle daughter had also made the decision that she wanted to finish her senior year up here; so we were - or perhaps I was - mentally preparing for the transition.  June rolled around and the end of the school year was here. I drove with my little one to pick up the middle child. The transition hasn't been too difficult; although a bit challenging but that was to be expected.

In August, hubby and I celebrated 7 years of marital bliss.  Time has certainly flown by. SEVEN YEARS!!!  But I've been truly blessed and I couldn't imagine life without Mr. D. Just the other day I was partaking in a conversation where one person made a comment along the lines of "when we argue, we throw things, we're yelling at each other, we're telling each other to get out..." and I just stood there like wow. The individual says - "why do you look surprised?" I responded, and I think she believes I was lying...."In the seven years that Mr. D and I have been together, we have never raised our voices nor our hands; and we have definitely never uttered the words get out or cursed at each other".  I don't see a point in doing so.  When you treat someone that way, you are not only disrespecting that person, you're disrespecting yourself.  If you get to a point that you can't stand someone, leave.  YES - it is that simple. I don't care how many years you have invested or what material things you've accumulated.  No one deserves to be disrespected and mistreated and material things can be bought again.  Believe me - I've left and started over twice.  I don't plan on ever having to do that again, but if I had to - I wouldn't second guess myself.  The first time I was married. I packed what I could and left in my car.  It wasn't a healthy environment and it was time I left.  Sadly, I didn't take the time to fix ME and ended up in a similar situation later on and after two and a half years, I left that relationship also. My only regret was not leaving sooner.

Anyways - my relationships will be further discussed in my book - coming in 2016! I'm putting it out there - I've been working on this book for quite some time and I am committed to finishing it in 2016! Stay tuned :-) 

This year, for our family vacation we spent a week in Mexico.  It was so much fun!!!  We went in August and let me tell you - IT. WAS. HOT.  I love the heat, as you all know, but oh my that was brutal.

Here we are in Cancun, Mexico...

It was the girl's first time in Mexico and Mr. D's first time in Cancun. We all enjoyed it and will definitely be going back in the near future: Just not in August!!!

After I graduated and received my bachelor's degree last year, I enrolled in the master's program. Unfortunately, I lost my job shortly after and I just wasn't in a good place mentally or emotionally to focus on graduate school work - so I withdrew.  I knew that I would eventually return, but I wasn't sure 'when'.  During our time in Mexico, we spent some time thinking of our future in terms of goals and things that we want to accomplish; both short and long term plans.  I mentioned wanting to return to school and get the master's degree.  After much prayer and talking it out with my inner circle, I contacted RWC and informed them that I wanted to return. I was ready.

My official acceptance!  Lord willing, I will walk the stage at RWC once again in May of 2017!  I'm three modules in....nine more to go and I can't wait. I'm excited.

The busiest time in our lives happens during the final months of the year.  This year, my darling, turned 50!  I am so happy that he is just like me in terms of age - it is just a number. So whether we are 40, 50, or 60 - we don't lie nor are we ashamed about our age! As Mr. D says - he is like wine - he gets better with age. And oh yes he does!!!

One thing about him however, is that he does not like to make a big fuss about things. I on the other hand, I make a big deal about everything!!!  So off course I was planning a surprise gathering for him and he - as I suspected, loved every minute of it. Here's a few pics....

I kept it very small and very intimate. We were surrounded by close friends that mean everything to us; and it was perfect.  I booked a suite at the Woodcliff Lodge & Spa and gave the room key to one of my girl's, who went in early and set-up and let every one in... we arrived at the set time and surprised him.  Everyone was gone by 10pm and we enjoyed some much needed R&R.  I love that man to the moon and back :-)

As December rolled around, it was time for more celebrations.  My first born turned 23 on December 19th; my middle one will be 18 on the 27th and my baby turns 14 on January 6th!!!

We are looking forward to all the wonderfulness that 2016 has in-store for us.  Vacations, college, promotions, better health - goals accomplished!  Oh I almost forgot to mention - a huge item being checked off my bucket list is me learning to swim!!!  I tried lessons in the past and I stopped after session 2. The young lady was just an awful instructor. I'm sorry - but she was!!!  The interesting thing about life is, if you truly and really want and desire something, the fire will keep burning inside of you and it will not die down UNTIL you go for what you want.  So I followed the recommendation of one of my girl's and called the Y. We chatted and I signed up! Move over Michael Phelps - cause here I come. Okay, not really - but hey I'll be backstroking and butterflying in no time.

Here I am - getting ready to head to the Y. Two lessons down - nine to go.

A few notable moments of 2015:
1. Paid of some debt
2. My Munchkinmellow made honor roll
3. My Monster got a 101 on one of her exams
4. Had a surprise party for one of my BFF's
5. Enjoyed the company of numerous married couples during a "couples only game night" at a friends house - that was so much fun!
6. Celebrated the huge accomplishment of my other BFF as she received her Master's
7. And my darling Mr. D, blessed me with a new camera.... some may remember that I did photography a few years back. The frustration was getting to me and I sold everything (behind Mr. D's back)! Thankfully he didn't blow a gasket and he simply asked why. I told him and he reassured me that when I was ready, he'd bless me with a camera.  So be on the look out as I'll be back. :-)

As we say goodbye to 2015, it has been a great year. We've accomplished a lot.  We know that 2016 will be so much better and our blessings will be quadrupled!

We hope to share with you - and not just via social media - but in real life. That's where its at!

I did it!

Bachelor of Science - Organizational Management from Robert's Wesleyan College.

On the left: Hannah, me, and Ayanna. On the right: Me and my ALL - my hubby James

It was a beautiful day! The sun was shining and the skies were clear.  I was surrounded by loved ones - family and friends. I'm blessed. To God be the glory.  Next steps....stay tuned. This is just the beginning.