A step forward

It's February!

Here we are, February 1, 2016! Thirty-two days ago we were celebrating as we rung in a New Year. We promised ourselves many 'new' things in the upcoming year.  How are you doing with those promises? How's the job hunt? How's the updating of your resume? How's weight loss coming along? Have you made peace with the past? Have you started writing your book? Have you looked in to the process of opening up a business?  Have you found a home church?

The beginning of a new year, month, week, day... comes with many possibilities.  Possibilities for a fresh and new start. Yet, shortly after, we give up.  Don't be too hard on yourself - it happens to us all.  I believe that if we keep the 'why' in forefront at all times, it will make the process more doable. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to save money? Why do you want a new job? Why do you want to find a church home? Why do you want to move? Why do you want to buy a house? Why do you want to be in a relationship? Why do you want to leave a current relationship? Etc...

Keeping they 'why' in sight, will make the connection personal.  So if you've fallen or are falling off the wagon, it's okay. Stop, regroup, refocus, get back on - and keep pressing forward! You got this.

So as this is the beginning of a new month, take a moment and focus on the positive! You've accomplished something! Whether big or small, ever accomplishment counts.  Continue to focus on the positive and keep adding positiveness into your life. Don't shine the light on the negative.... When we focus on what we have accomplished and on our strengths, the weaknesses automatically diminish.

Happy February!

Til next time...
MD

2015 Reflections

As we set to wrap up yet another year, I want to pause and give thanks.

I want to thank my friends, my close, tight, and intimate group that keep me grounded.  Life without you would be uneventful - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  We make each other laugh, we keep each other accountable, we keep each other motivated, and we keep each other uplifted.  We've shared tears, laughs, hugs, intimate stories, goals, frustrations, heartaches, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear - we've shared a version of ourselves that not many are privileged too - and for that I am thankful.  

I wish you lots of love - self love and love from your dear ones.  I wish you financial wealth; whether it's $1,000 or $1 million - whatever will bring you comfort, security, and joy - may you receive it.  I wish you mental stability.  I wish you confidence - a self confidence that is not conceited; but one of grace and authenticity.  I wish you honor and respect - but remember that it starts with YOU.  Show people how to treat you and do not settle for less - EVER!. I wish you professional growth - in your current field or wherever God may lead you.  Let the past stay in the past. We're approaching a new year - a new beginning; let go.  May this new year be filled with positive experiences beyond your wildest dreams.  I'm honored to have you in my life. This up coming year, is truly going to be our best one yet!

To my family - we didn't choose each other; God had an awesome plan when He chose us to be forever connected.  We have wasted enough time with jealousy, comparing ourselves to one another, with gossip, with put downs, with letting our ego and pride get in the way.  We need to do better. We need to BE better!  God put us together for a reason.  Let's stop making excuses and let's stop letting others get in our way of being a family.  None of us are better than the other; regardless of who has a job, who drives what type of car, who is married, who is engaged, who lives where - we can do better than that!  This up coming each let's make a promise to be more in each other's lives; and not only when you need something - but all the time.  Let's connect. Let's be present.  We didn't choose each other, but God did and He did it for a reason.  Let's make sure that our kids know each other and grow up with one another.  Let's do better for our next generation.   I give thanks because although we truly haven't been there for each other, we have an opportunity to begin again.  We are all breathing - we still have a chance.  I give God thanks for my brothers, my sister, my nieces and nephews.  I give thanks to God for my cousins, aunt, and uncles. I give thanks for my grandmother. Most importantly, I give thanks to God for my Mom, Dad and my step-parents.  We have a huge family - and we have lots of places to visit. So let's connect!

My darling husband and kids - We've had a fun year. We've settled in our home. We went to Mexico, went to a few parks, celebrated a milestone birthday, celebrated other birthdays, and soon my Munchkinmellow will go off to college.  We have a lot planned for 2016 and I cannot wait.  As I work on my Master's degree, I thank you for your support, James. Without you, this journey would be a hellish one! Thank you for always supporting me. I can't wait to see what surprises 2016 will bring. My Monster will turn 14 and in a few short years, she too will be off to college. Ah - then the real fun begins ;-)  My Parker - has his own place and is making positive changes in his life.  For you, my son, my prayer is that you learn to be patient and stay focused in the current; make a plan and break it down to bite size pieces - tackling one thing at a time.  I pray for confidence and for you never to quit!  You have a drive and hunger for success - keep it up. Don't ever - ever give up! Believe in yourself, like I believe in you.  2016 - we're ready for you!

And I'll close with this: Maryann, I thank you for being you.  Always pushing the limits and never doubting your abilities.  Continue pushing forward and never let go of your sense of wonder. The world is yours to conquer!

Just Me - Maryann

It's been a while - I know.  A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this blog.  I've been submerged in a self-discovery journey, and it has been amazing!!!  I'm all about growth, empowerment, knowledge, and fun.

Since I could remember I've tried to be an entrepreneur because that is what EVERYONE was doing.  I felt like I was missing out.  Through my recent journey of figuring out WHO Maryann is - this is what I discovered.  Before you proceed - grab a cup of tea or coffee...or depending on the time, a glass of wine and enjoy the following.

**As always, I'd love to hear from you** 

I was laying in bed the other night and as I laid there thinking, something hit me. I've been feeling like this for quite some time; actually, years I think!  I've jumped around from one thing to next and this has happened on and off over the past twenty or so years!!!  Discovery Toys, Lea Sophia, Avon, Mary Kay, Photography, Steeped Tea, Coaching biz....and honestly, I have no emotional connection to ANY OF IT!!!  Avon was fun because I got discounts on some of their cool little stuff; but it was too much of a hassle and the discounts were not worth the headaches.  Mary Kay, I LOVE but again, the 'selling' it just not me. Photography, I loved and I miss it at times, but not as a business.  I just want to snap pictures.  I don't want to advertise, sell, edit, print, etc. I just want to pull my camera out and snap away.  The money was good - but I wasn't doing it for the money - so that incentive means nothing to me. The other stuff: Discovery Toys - that was so long ago, when I first had my son.  I got involved with that again, for the discount but I should of known THEN that 'selling' was not my thing.  As I enjoy tea, I tried Steeped Tea! However, I'm a coffee drinker - FOR LIFE.  I have so much tea at home that even if I don't order anything for a while, I'll be set.  Again, the hassle of 'selling', ordering, parties, packing, unpacking - it just wasn't worth it. So I stopped. NOW - to the big one...my recent venture...coaching and writing a book.

People always say that if we have a story to share, we should because we don't know who we could help; our story can impact someone and propel them into the right direction.  I disagree.  Not 'everyone' needs to hear about my life's journey.  I've come to realize this: Those that I choose to share my story with - will hear it.  I'm not one for glitz and glamour - as shocking as that might be.  I don't need to be up on a podium with the lights shinning on me. That's not me.  I rather be in my jeans and t-shirt - sipping a drink and having intimate conversations with my close girlfriends.  All of our lives have had ups and downs - hell I know I can be an impact right in my intimate circle; perhaps helping one of my close girlfriends open up and blossom...having them be in the spot light because that's what they may desire. Me - I'm in the background - where I like to be.  I'll be the one cheering you on or wiping your tears away; or giving you a pep talk when you need it...Whatever you need me to be - in the background, I will be.

I don't want to be a boss, CEO, or president of any company.  Believe it or not, not everyone wants to be in the spot light.  Conversely, there a many who are leaders behind the scenes.  That's where I am.  I don't want to be a final decision maker...yes, providing input is one thing but being the final decision maker....NOPE not me. I don't want the pressure or stress.  I don't want to be a speaker - I don't want the light shinning on me.  I don't want to 'publish' a book.  All the shit that has happened to me over the years, I continue to heal from, and yes - the writing process has been helping ME and those that I choose to share it with - but not with the public; not publicized for all to see.

I chose to get my bachelor's degree because I wanted to show my children that even though life happens, you still have choices in life; it's your life and although you may be dealt certain cards - you can throw that hand in and ask for a re-deal. I've chosen now to get my master's for me!  It's going to be mine...and all mine. I'm not going to have a party - like I did with my bachelor's.  I wanted to share that with a lot of people - and I did...sadly, some of those people that I did celebrate with, I don't even talk too anymore.  And I'm at peace with that.

For my master's I will celebrate with my man in Tahiti - although I graduate May 2017 and Tahiti will be April/May 2018...I will also celebrate with my intimate group of girlfriends [they know who they are]...we'll take a trip somewhere and bask in the sun as we love to do - sit on the beach and listen to the waves crash against the shoreline....

I don't mind giving advice.  I don't mind listening. I enjoy both of those activities...they are part of who I am.  However, I don't want to advertise. I don't want to charge.  I don't want to speak, I don't want to plan.  My mindset is right where it needs to be: friends, family, self...{before all is God of course!}

I just want to be Maryann...wearing jeans and a t-shirt and maybe a cute scarf....sipping an ice cold beer or drinking a fruity drink - maybe with an umbrella.

I want to get up and go to work. I enjoy what I do and Lord knows I have the easiest job at the moment!!! I'm learning some new things and that creates the challenge that I enjoy; and truthfully, I won't ever make six-figures here, but it's okay. I'm happy! That's what really matters.  I want to go to the gym after work, and eventually reach my goal weight 160-170 toned!!!  I know I can do it - just need to focus and commit.  I want to learn to swim.  I want to collect lots and lots of stamps in my passport!  I want to get together with my girlfriends and hang out at the movies, go to the spa, go on vacation, go shopping, talk and relax...go for walks....breathe fresh air.  I want to grow with my man: mentally, physically, emotionally, mentally, intimately, and spiritually - and do whatever we want - and not having to worry about other commitments, because my focus and commitments will be: self, friends, family, and God.  Outside of that - nothing matters.  I do want to get back to church...all churches will have issues and clicks, and dysfunction - my focus needs to be in my relationship with God.

It's not to say that all I want to do is live life without a care in the world; that's just plain insanity and unreal.

There are ways for me to pay it forward and be an inspiration to others outside of my intimate circle. It's called - living an authentic lifestyle.  It's also called being involved.  I'm involved with two great organizations: Dress for Success as a First Impressions Coach.  This opportunity allows me to instill not only job readiness skills to women, but also life skills in general.  There's also a chance for me to get involved in one of their committees so I would be involved and have an impact from the inside out.  Then there's STAAR Leaders of Rochester - which I'm on the board.  I know there's room for major life changing events and involvements with this group.  

I'm looking forward to all the new, fun, and exciting things that have already started to take shape.  My gifts will keep on giving :-) 

When you know who you genuinely are, you've discovered the secret to LIFE! 

Most fabulously, I'm looking forward to being just Maryann.

Philippians 4:13 - Saturday, May 10, 2014

Hi Beautiful People,

It's been a while. I hope you're all doing wonderful and enjoying the glimpses of the sun. I'm hoping we have a fabulously hot summer full of clear blue skies!

Did you happen to catch the title of this blog post? Philippians 4:13 - Saturday, May 10, 2014. This day will be recorded as a special day in my memory book.  The verse - well if it were not for Christ continuously strengthening me, this reality would still be a dream.  I will be walking across the stage at Robert Wesleyan College and receiving my Bachelor of Science degree in Organizational Management. I'm elated!

Why such enthusiasm? See, 24 years ago, on Wednesday, November 15, 1989, I turned 16 and I made a decision that forever changed my life. I walked into my homeroom at Edison Tech High School and dumped all my books on Ms. Deyo's desk. She asked me, "what are you doing"? I told her, "I'm done". I turned and left. She didn't try to stop me. Would I have changed my mind? Only God knows. The interesting thing is that as I went to get on the RTS bus, the driver asked me what I was doing? I told him going home...I just dropped out of school. His response, although ticked me off, didn't change my mind. He told me, "oh you're grown now huh?, well walk your grown behind home"! Yeah, he did not let me get on the bus! So I walked.

I ended up back in juvi (that journey another time).  In and out of juvi for around two years, I ended up getting my GED May 1991.  Three years later I obtained a General Office Skills certificate from REOC.  That certificate helped get my foot into the professional arena. More like a toe! Desiring to be more and have more, I eventually enrolled at MCC.  At MCC I changed majors a few times (that adventure also at another time). Life happened and after starting in 1996, I graduated in 2004. Do the math - quick! Yes, it took me 8 years but I did it.

The road leads me to the present day.  I was comfortable in my profession as an executive/admin assistant, although I had 15+ years of experience, I felt professionally empty - if that makes sense.  I took some time to reevaluate my career goals and realized that I'd always wanted to achieve my bachelors.  I had tried several times and was not successful. The colleges/programs were not for me. 

And as life doesn't stop, I kept on living. The goal was boxed and safely put away.

Have you ever had a goal, vision, or desire that had not been realized and it keeps gnawing at you? It just won't go away! That was my goal and with the encouragement of Mr. D., I reached out to a few people I knew had graduated from Robert's. I asked them a million questions and I signed up for an info session. I enrolled. I was accepted. I finished. I graduate!

To those reading this...young or old, don't EVER give up. If you're breathing, you still can reach that goal and stop that annoying gnawing feeling.  If you've dropped out of high school - try and go back or go get the GED.  If you're contemplating dropping out - DON'T do it! You will regret it.  I wish I had prom pictures to look at and laugh at. I wish I had those memories....  If you've obtained your GED, awesome sauce! Don't stop there. Go further. Get a certificate. REOC and local colleges offer certificate programs.  Whether it's to fulfill a personal or professional goal, education is knowledge and that knowledge will be yours forever.

As for me and my future - I plan on receiving my Masters in Human Resources Management.  I'm looking at a couple of local colleges because I need to be in a classroom. Online does not work for me.

There should be six attendees at my graduation - my mama, dad, 2 daughters, son and hubs. My son is out of town handling some business - but I'll be sure to have lots of photo for him to see and he'll definitely be at my next graduation.

If you ever want to chat or have questions email me at accordingtomdannert@hotmail.com

58 days ago...

Here we are - Thursday, February 27, 2014!  Is time standing still? Is time moving at warp speed?  I think the answer to that is...it depends on what you have been doing with your life over the last 58 days!

There comes a time when we all have decisions to make. They can be small and minor decisions like, what do I wear to work or what will I have for breakfast?  Yet, there are times in life, when we must make decisions that can and will alter our lives...for the better...or for the worse.

In 71 days I will be walking the stage of Robert's Wesleyan College as I graduate with my bachelor's degree in Organizational Management.  The decision for me to return to school and obtain my bachelor's was an easy decision. I did not need to give it much thought other than, how am I going to pay for this?  I've always had the goal of going to school and getting the bachelor's.  For me, this a great achievement and I will be celebrating big!  See, I dropped out of school in the 9th grade. After a couple of years of in and out of juvi - I made the decision to get my G.E.D. {general equivalency diploma}.  I went on to attend R.E.O.C. {SUNY Brockport's Rochester Educational Opportunity Center} where I received a certificate in General Office Skills.  Kids, relationships, etc...later...I went to a 2-year college M.C.C. and received my associate in science. I was thrilled! But I wasn't done. When I met James, and as we got to talking about goals, etc., he encouraged me to go back to school if that was my heart's desire. It was and I did.  When I walk the stage in 71 days, it will be 15 months prior when the journey started.

I tossed and turned for weeks and I prayed and I prayed as to whether or not go on for my master's.  After weeks of back and forth, I made my decision...........................YES! My new vision is to obtain my a Masters in Human Resources Management from Nazareth College.

I decided to do what I've always aspired to do...Be REAL! Be GENUINE! Be ME. 
And I am just great!

Whatever goals you set for yourself, make sure they are for YOU and not someone else.  My ways are not for everyone...just like everyone's ways are not for you.  Take some time to look deep down and hard within yourself. Ask God to guide you. Ask yourself what brings you joy? Happiness? Is it being a coach? Author? Mentor? Public Speaker? Flash mob dancer? Photographer? House wife? Stay-at-home-mom? Single? Married? Blogger? World traveler? Tea enthusiast? Wine enthusiast? 

Whatever you choose, let it be YOUR CHOICE!  That is the only thing that will bring you true happiness.

My life's goal is to be a world traveler! And as live each day, every decision I make will bring me closer and closer to my life's goal. {{To fill the pages of my passport}}
As a close friend said to me "they gave me a passport with lots of pages...I have an obligation to fill it".  And fill it I shall!

Isla Mujeres - Cancun Mexico Feb. 2014

Live Aqua - Cancun Mexico Feb. 2014. RESORT I stayed in.

Beauty! Live Aqua Cancun Mexico Feb. 2014

This is my life. Cancun Mexico Feb. 2014

My 2013 in review

Good bye 2013...

My year started out great. Rang in the New Year with my husband & Monster watching Ryan Seacrest's Rockin' New Year's Eve Show. We toasted, kissed, hugged, and of to bed we went. 

After much planning, only Stacey & I ended up going to Cancun, Mexico and we had a blast. We made a pledge that every February we would go on a girls only vacation. February 2014 it will once again be Stacey & I. I was a little disappointed because there were at least 8 people that said they were interested but when it came time for the deposit - only Stac and I came through. I know we'll have a blast again :-) We're pros now! 

My Dude & I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. I surprised him with a weekend getaway that comprised of a night just outside of Buffalo, a day at Niagara on the Lake, and sight seeing in Niagara Falls. His facial expressions and enthusiasm spoke volume. I know he loved it. He also got his license (yay/long story) & a car! No more waking up at dawn for me. Praise The Lord - because without Him none of this would have taken place. 

We also went to Washington DC when we took Hannah home who came up for the summer. That was an adventure. I had never been to DC before. Next year, I'll be needing better walking sneakers.   

There were some heartbreaks & sadness in 2013 - it wasn't all wonderful but I'm not going to focus on those events. We live and we learn. One things for sure - never again!   

I've been having monthly girls only get togethers. There were a few times that I almost scrapped the entire idea but the few faithful ones kept me going. Some would say yes and not show up (not even a phone call). Some miraculously 'forgot' and that makes me laugh. I say that because those that have been invited AND a part of, know that I'm always sending reminders whether it's through FB or texting.  I will continue having the events & whoever shows - shows. When the invites stop altogether please don't wonder why.  

Professionally and academically I've been blessed. I'm graduating May 2014. {Save the date graduation party 5-10-14}. There are exciting things coming that can't be shared just yet...but I truly have been blessed. I'm excited about what God has planned for me.  For a minute there I flirted with the idea of getting my Master's. After much thought and prayer, that will not be happening. I need to be true to myself and getting a Master's degree was never a goal or dream of mine. Pursuing my Bachelor's degree has been a goal and I am thankful that God has provided and that goal turned into a plan and the plan into a reality.  I will say this professionally speaking,  I will get my notary and I will continue to enhance my skills and the learning will never stop.  If God ever puts it in my heart to pursue a Master's - then let it be. Until then, however, I am content.  

I turned 40 this year. Yay! In addition to having a photoshoot for myself by the talented Colleen, I celebrated with several friends...but nothing could top, My darling's surprise of a bed & breakfast stay at Niagara on the Lake and it was beyond amazing. Oak Haven was quaint, and Dennis and Christine were absolutely great! I honestly don't know why people, especially women, fret getting older. It's a blessing-be thankful. For my 45th birthday I will be celebrating both my 45th birthday & 10 yr anniversary in the glorious islands of Tahiti, Mo'orea, and Huahine.  The research and plans have begun!

There were some things that were not accomplished like getting out of this apartment & into a house, losing the amount of weight that I wanted, but I managed to drop a few pounds so I'm overall thankful for that...having my Hannah move back home...but what has been accomplished has been wonderful! Traveling, car, paying off some debt, good grades, a roof over my head, food on the table, turning 40, surprises, promotions, a clear vision of my future, new friendships...rekindled friendships, and growing closer to God...and truly knowing He will never forsake me! 

2014 I'm ready! The best is yet to come. Happy New Year!

5 year anniversary surprise

Niagara on the Lake

Walking around in Niagara on the Lake

Gorgeous hotel - Niagara on the Lake

Niagara on the Lake

Niagara Falls

My Dude got a car!

40th photoshoot

White House - Washington DC

Driving around Niagara on the Lake -my 40th

SPA day

40th photoshoot

 

My Lover, My Friend, My Husband, My Dude, My All. Thank you for a great 2013! Can't wait to see what God has planned for us in 2014.

It has been a while...

My faithful readers, accept my deepest apologies as it has been a while since I have written!  As we know and as can be expected, {LIFE} happens.  I am in the middle of planning many things for the upcoming year! Here's a quick overview:

Social life...

• My social life will be changing! Life's too short.

Professional life...

• I am very fortunate to have a job that I love. Although I love my job, I know that I am meant to be doing more...great things will be happening in this arena - stay tune! {NO} I am not leaving my job...I will be growing in my gifts.

Academic life...

• I will be graduating May 10, 2014 with my bachelor's in Organizational Management. I have made the decision to continue on {with the subtle persistence of Nicole & Deborah}, with my education and I will be starting my studies for my MSL - Master's in Strategic Leadership!

Personal life...

• I have talked and talked and talked and talked {you get the point}...about my weight loss battle. In all honesty, it is not really a battle because I'm not even trying to fight! January 1, 2014 - I will be bringing out the gloves and you better watch out! I will be fighting like my life depended on it {an it does!}.  I will be getting healthy! I will become a certified personal trainer! I will start the writing and I will become a published author! I will become involved in helping others! I will be making a difference!
• I will be focusing on my marriage and my children. Our vacations will be meaningful; we will live with purpose.
• I will also be writing more consistently! It's all about planning :-)

With all that being said, I hope you stick around and embark on the great journey that is about to take place. Join me for the adventure...hold on the best is yet to come!

{{PS.}} Did I tell you I recently turned 40! My classmates surprised me with a cake and the love of my life surprised me with a weekend getaway to Niagara on the Lake! IT WAS AMAZING!!!