Closing up 2012...Welcoming 2013

As with every new year, we take a moment to reflect on the occurrences of the current year, the things we envisioned and the reality.  For me, 2012 was filled with many highs and lows; some fun and heart breaks. 

Due to my strong dislike of crowds, we avoid driving to downtown to see the fireworks - instead, we make a short and quick appearance at my parents house which is filled with family members that seem to only get together during the holidays. I find this tradition sad - especially since I have friends who travel many hours across state lines to get together with their family members during the holidays - we all live within 10-15 minutes from one another; yet we only gather during the holidays.  After our short stint at my parents, we journey over to our apartment and watch Ryan Seacrest and the many live performances; crack open the bubbly - clink the glasses, hugs & kisses and off to bed we go. We're in bed by 12:05AM. Another year has come and gone.

The highs and lows of 2012:

-High H visits Ethiopia for her first time with her father & step mother for the entire summer
-Low H drops a bombshell on me that she's staying in Virginia with her father & step mother
-High I get accepted and start Keuka college working  towards my bachelor's degree
-Low after the first semester I have to drop due to no financial aid
-High plans for summer travels - we visit Lancaster PA and go the Syracuse State Fair
-Low deep down hurt and feelings of betrayal on part of H
-High we surprise A with a cell phone and some things she wanted for Christmas
-Low disappointed by the ungrateful behavior displayed by A
-High register A for piano lessons
-Low A doesn't seem to be all into the piano lessons - money wasted!
-High possible miracle which will allow me to return back to school
-Low no word yet still waiting on miracle - more debt? Is it worth it?

As 2013 creeps in - here is what I will be doing...

*Stop trusting people so much...
*Stop worrying about what other people think, say & do...
*Focus on those that live under my roof; and my other 2 children no matter what...
*Cherish each day like it's my last on earth...
*One way or another I will achieve my bachelor's and I'll have only myself to thank debt & all...
*Accept that our children are on 'loan' to us from God and all we can do is wish the best for them - regardless of what road they choose to travel...
*Forget the past - and the people from the past - they're in the past for a reason...
*Embrace my body - muffin top, stretch marks, cellulite and all...!
*Eat healthier & drink more water...
*Keep those friends that push me to be the very best I can be close to me...and the rest at arms length...
*Be wary of those that are always posting scriptures on FB - even the devil knows the bible. Christianity is about a personal relationship with Christ. It's about seeing Christ in that person. Many need a new mirror because the reflection is foggy...
*Not planning any more 'girls only' get togethers - yall already know my plans; so you make the move...
*Remembering why I fell in love & rekindling the romance...we have many many many more years together & before we know it'll be just us...
*Most importantly I will be becoming the mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, grand-daughter, niece, aunt, co-worker, employee, friend...Child of God that Christ intended for me to be!

Remember as you're out celebrating...Do NOT use your cellphone WHILE driving! No call or text is worth your life or that of another...Drink and drink good...BUT do not get behind the wheel! Call a cab or have a pre-arranged designated driver!  Have fun and have a safe New Year's! Here's to 2013...

Romney or Obama…who is the better choice?

Voting Day 11-6-2012

Romney or Obama…who is the better choice?

My mind had been made up for quite some time as to who would get my vote.

Although born in the US, we left South Bronx, NY and relocated to Puerto Rico at an early age. As far as I can remember, we lived there for quite some time and for some crazy reason, my mother and step-father decided to leave Puerto Rico and out of all the places in America, they decided to land in Rochester, NY.  I remember when we first moved here, it was winter. The winter coat I had, the pockets had wholes and we lived just within the radius of me not qualifying for school transportation. You do the math – we lived above Tito’s Corner Store (Rohr and Bay St) and I was assigned to attend school #33. YES – dead of winter with a coat that could hardly do its job and to top it all off, I had no boots!  I don’t recall how long that lasted, but I remember often being cold.  Yes, my mother received assistance. Growing up I remember standing in line waiting to get that ‘welfare cheese’. Don’t front – I know I’m not…that cheese yielded the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the world! And being true to our Puerto Rican roots – cafe con leche, galletas con queso (coffee w/milk and crackers & cheese) – those were the days!

Thankfully, that was not the life my parents envisioned when they left the comfort of Puerto Rico; where we owned our own house, land and many animals.  They moved to America to live the American dream. 

As I ventured on my own (due to a teenage pregnancy), I found myself  applying for DSS.  I had no choice, I was 18 and pregnant! And do yall know how much it cost to deliver a baby? Craziness. I digress!  I remember when I went for my appointment, the worker asking me all sorts of personal questions; where’s the father, who’s the father, where are your parents, this and that. Wait a minute – hold the train I said to myself. Is she serious? Asking me all these questions! And me being me, I asked HER why she needed to know all that? Her response changed my life…to an extent at least.  She said, if you want government help, we need to know this information. Seeing things growing up, I realized that to get assistance I had to lie; so I answered in a way that would allow me to get benefits.  Something inside however, felt strange. I desired more. I did not want to live my life waiting for the 1^st and 16^th of every month (that’s how it was back then). I wanted to work and have my own money and not have to worry about telling people my business. So I enrolled at the REOC and got a General Office Skills certificate. Shortly after delivering my healthy bouncing baby boy – I was hired by the organization where I did my internship and started on the road to joining the working class!  I did find myself several years later on a couple of occasions applying and receiving food stamps. But I was damned if I asked for anything else – because see as a working class member, I had a reputation to uphold. Benefits don't come easy to those that work for a living; but those that choose to live off the system, everything is handed to them. I had to find work as soon as I possibly could and I’m thankful that I always did.  Had I not chosen to have some dignity and desire for a better way of life, I could have sat on my couch collecting DSS and not use the time to further my education; receiving benefits and being enabled by the system to be a lazy member of society.

As someone who grew up poor, standing on the ‘cheese line’, having cars repo’d, the bank taking the house away…there’s a consistent reminder in all of this – we ALL have a choice to make. We can choose to play the cards we are given or we can give those cards back and ask for a re-deal.

I remember when I met my ex-husband, I was working, a single mother and because I was a single mother and I was not making ‘enough’, I qualified for food stamps and section 8. My rent used to be $12 a month (full rent was $340) in the south wedge area for a 2bdrm – not bad. I loved that apartment. Anyways, when we decided to get married, he said we’re moving. I told him I couldn’t because I would lose the section 8. He said “well get a job making more money so you don’t have to worry about government stuff”. And so I did. When I was pushed out of my comfort zone, I discovered there were opportunities; but I was not being challenged to change; so why would I?  From that point on, I looked at the government differently.

Today - we have one man who believes people should be more responsible for themselves and not rely on government assistance – and dag gone it I agree 100%.  Then we have another man who believes the government should help those that are less fortunate. And again, as someone who grew up on government assistance – I agree 100%.  Help those that REALLY and TRULY need it. The lazy folks, make them get a job but at the same time, since you, the government have enabled them to live such a lavish lazy life – don’t cut off all the assistance at once. Teach them how to be responsible. Teach them how to budget. Teach them how to pay bills. You got them here; take them further.

Then there’s the health care part. One man wants to make all businesses have to offer health insurance OR face a fine. The other man wants for people to make the choice for themselves whether or not they want insurance.  I disagree with both views!  Healthcare is expensive as a you know what!  Forcing businesses to have to offer health insurance can be detrimental to smaller organizations, non-profits, etc. It will literally force many to close down.  Then again, I don’t agree that it should be up to each person whether they want insurance or not. Some people are not responsible enough so many children will continue to go uninsured.  All I can say is that I’m thankful to have insurance available at my job.

Education: One man believes all children – equally should be allowed the opportunity to have their parents choose where the child goes to school; whether it’s city, suburbs, private, charter, online…while the other believes there should be some restrictions. On this one – although I see the former views…I agree with the latter. Many people pay high, very high taxes to be in a good district. Why should they have to fork up the money for non-district pupils?

This is a tough choice. I was convinced driving to the polls. I gave my vote a lot of thought. I even consulted with my 10 year old daughter…after all…she is part of our future America!  Together we decided…we filled in the bubbles…we put our form in the privacy sleeve…we put the sleeve in the machine…and casted our vote!

Life ~ it’s certainly interesting.

Today I voted!